Beginning of this year, I had been talking to a very pretty boy online and via text. The first two dates we had set we had to cancel due to bad weather and the fact that he would have to drive from NJ. Finally we met up, and he was not only quite tall and ridiculously skinny, but had quite feminine features. Everywhere we went, waiters would immediately say "Ladies...oh whoops!" We flirted heavily while texting one evening; he brought along a friend on a date (?), then was bitching about why I wouldn't make out with him at the bar. I laughed, "I'm not a fan of making out in public, and I've been the third wheel on nights out too many times. I didn't want to make your friend uncomfortable. AND WHY DID YOU BRING HIM?!"
The next weekend we finally were alone. He also still lived at home, despite being closer to 30 than anyone I've dated before or since. Pretty disappointing all 'round, and I'm just gonna leave it at that. A couple days later he texts and says "I don't see romance in the picture." After waiting 10 minutes and letting my head process everything, I responded "I agree, but who said anything about romance anyway?" Looking back now, I wonder what I found attractive - I like my pretty-boy rock stars, but DAMN this guy put them all to shame, and that's even without him wearing makeup. We also had barely anything in common, so I have no idea how we kept talking for close to 2 months. He's in a metal band, and that has NEVER been my scene.
Next was a nerdy boy who seemed rather interesting, and we geeked out over foreign films. Then he took me to a dance night where I happened to meet a number of his friends. They immediately took a liking to me. While listening to the band at the club, my date put his arms around me, which was lovely. Then we started dancing...and making out. Suddenly he says "Come home with me." I was supposed to have work the next day, but it was already 12:30 am and I'd need to get the bus and then have my mom pick me up. The bane of living in the suburbs. So I asked "Where do you live?" He was only a few blocks away. I called my supervisor and feigned illness. Decided there's a first time for everything. However, he failed to be "prepared". Ahem. His excuse: "You said you're on the Pill, right? I don't use condoms with girls I'm dating if they're on the pill." I stared at him and crossly stated, "Fine and dandy. I guess I understand that reasoning...BUT I AIN'T YOUR GIRLFRIEND." Tsk tsk.
Yet he still let me stay over til late the next day, considering we were up til like 5 AM. I didn't leave til about 3, since we were on and off sleeping. A couple of days later he called to ask if I wanted to go see a singer/songwriter. Then he was awkward the next week, suddenly saying "I'm not ready for a relationship" which again, I had never expressly asked for. Then we go to see a band that he had gotten me into, and says "I met someone the same time as you, and I've seen her more often, so...don't let that stop you from hanging out with So-and-So, they're cool." This group of friends I'd met on our first date had become fond of me quickly, inviting me to parties. Sure enough, the next week after this falling-out, those friends asked me what happened - and said "We're not even close with him anyway. He's kind of a twerp." Here it is 7 months later, I've spent lots of time with this group of people - and NEVER run into him. It's awesome. All I've heard about his lady is that they look A LOT alike, to the point where it's Narcissus trying to kiss his reflection. Bizarre.
Meanwhile, that brings us to the present: last week I again had 3 dates with 3 different boys - for the 4th time this year. (All the other boys I haven't spoken of weren't even WORTH mentioning. The end.) One of the most recent guys is very much into me, to the point of kissing me on the cheek before I hopped on the train. More affection than I've received in quite some time, so that was shocking. T. and I are still trying to hang out again, though with him working retail around the holidays, this may be hard to organize. Of COURSE when we start hanging out again he has to work on weekends; not like earlier this year when I'm stupidly hung up on the totally wrong dudes, and T. was completely available all the time. Oh fate/coincidence, you get in the way sometimes!
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm no longer analyzing every second of a date to figure out how or why it didn't blossom into anything. Too many people have told me you just KNOW when you meet someone special, and it's simply that I haven't yet. But the fact that I've had at least 12 different guys ask me out this year is definitely a first, so I'm doing SOMETHING right as opposed to the last few years...!
NEXT TIME: Onward to a Not-Just-Dating entry - red flags for you single girls online; the importance of being busy; and the concept of "Restless Mind Syndrome".
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